A Lesson in Teen Communication: Part 2
For this leg of my expedition into the puzzling world of teen culture, I decided to dig into what really matters to them — something meatier than Snapchat and fashion (which, by the way, is suspiciously reminiscent of what we wore in the late 90’s early 2000’s - fair warning, any mention of this will only earn you a scathing glare). Expanding my horizons to include the elusive male perspective, I invited my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend to join me. Hooray! Another semi-willing participant, bribed only with the promise of Starbucks.
What followed was a class in teenage communication, featuring a symphony of shrugs, grunts, and the occasional eye roll, peppered with moments of surprisingly thoughtful insight. The takeaway? Teens aren’t apathetic — they’re just more fluent in sarcasm and memes than actual small talk.
So, what gets them talking? Spoiler alert: it’s not politics.
Here’s how it all went down:
I had my suspicions that traditional topics of debate would not generate conversation, however I thought I’d better cover them anyway. You never know!
Q: “Are you interested in politics?”
A: (pauses, blinks) “Ummmm…”
Okay, hard pass. Clearly, political debates are not what’s trending on their For You page.
Q: “How do you feel about world issues?”
A: (this one earned me a look that said “really?”)
Apparently, the plight of the planet takes a backseat along with Justin Trudeau.
Q. “How about the economy?”
A: “I mean… I hear everyone complaining about it. But, I don’t pay the bills, so…”
Q: “Religion?”
A: “I got 83% in religion. Does that count?”
I’m getting nowhere.
Switching gears, I decided to focus on topics that might resonate with their school or social lives.
Here's what finally got them talking;
Q:”How do you feel about issues surrounding LGBTQ?”
A:”You mean 2SLGBTQIA+?”
(I stand corrected)
“It’s not as big a deal as you think. It’s just kinda normal, and no one really cares about the label thing anymore. It’s only an issue when their entire existence revolves around how they identify - it’s annoying. Just be you, it doesn’t make any difference to me.”
Q:”So people who identify as 2SLGBTQIA+ aren’t treated differently or bullied at school?”
A:”I mean… not really. Not any more than anyone else. I’m sure it happens sometimes. But those are the same people that would pick on someone for what they’re wearing, or what they look like. You’re always going to get that, but no one supports that kind of thing.”
Q:”How do you feel about racism? Is it common in school?
A:”Nah. That’s more of an adult thing. My friends are from all over - it doesn’t matter… We probably sound racist though” (laughing)
Q:”Okay, you need to expand on that one.”
A:”Like… the last time my friend came over to hang out (he’s Asian), I made a big show of hiding my cat.” (more laughing)
“He thought it was hilarious! He came back at me, calling me white-boy and some other things I won’t repeat. We joke around all the time like that, but only up to a point - there’s still a line. Really it’s all about the delivery. Check out our messages. They're terrible!” (they really were.)
A:”No, no, no. You need to know your audience. If they’re close friends, it’s go time. People you don’t know that well? Maybe not. Depends. I would never use any racial comments as a way to be rude or offend someone. That’s just weak.”
Q:”Heavy topic. Things like self-harm have become a major issue with youth. Do you see a lot of that at school? How do you feel about it?
A:”Oh ya. It’s definitely an issue. It’s sad, and definitely not okay.” (pause)”Some people do it for attention - but even that’s concerning.”
“Eating disorders are a huge problem too. Especially with girls in cheer or dance. But a lot of people just throw it around, so like, it’s hard to know who’s serious.”
Q:”How about making healthy choices? Is that a focus?”
A:”Working out? Yeah. Eating right? Not so much. So many people have gym memberships, or use the gym at school - it’s definitely a thing. But it kinda stops there. We basically eat whatever we feel like. - Energy drinks are a problem! So many people live on them. Drink 2 or 3 a day, then wonder why they can’t sleep.”
Q:”What about academic stress? Is that an issue for you? What about other students?”
A:”I guess, ya. I definitely care about my grades. I’d say grade 11 and 12 are stressful, but 9 and 10 really weren’t. I think it’s only stressful now because we know that marks at this point are going to be looked at by universities and colleges. Trying to figure out what classes you need to take is pretty stressful too.”
Q:”Do you ever go to the guidance office to ask for help in selecting courses?”
A:”Guidance counsellors are like an urban legend. They’re really nice, but never available. It takes forever to get an appointment. By the time you see them, the deadline for course selections has already passed and classes have been made. Half the time if you want to change something, you can’t because the class you want is full.”
Q:”If you could change one thing to improve your school, what would it be?”
A:”Build another high school! Our school is too big - we have over 2,000 kids. It would be awesome if we had like half of that. - And bring back exams for grade 9 and 10. It would have been nice having some experience with them before 11 and 12 when grades count more.”
Q:”What do you look forward to most in your day?”
A:”Friends, break, powerfit.”
Q:”Are you looking forward to graduating and leaving high school?”
A:”Heck NO! I don’t want to think about politics and the economy.”
I laughed at that one. Clever.
Final Takeaway:
Teenagers are equal parts hilarious, insightful, and unapologetically honest. While politics and the economy barely register on their radar, they’re deeply tuned into the things that feel personal — fairness, inclusivity, friendships, and the daily challenges they face. Heavy topics like racism, self-harm and mental health aren’t dismissed; they’re met with thoughtfulness and genuine concern. Sure, they might shrug off global crises with a quick “nope,” but dig a little deeper, and you’ll find a generation navigating a fast-paced, overwhelming world with surprising wisdom, loyalty, and empathy. They care — just not always in ways adults expect. It turns out, life is often as simple (and profound) as good friends, fairness, and getting in a solid power-fit class before the next existential crisis.
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