A Lesson in Teen Communication: Part 1
A Lesson in Teen Communication: Part 1
Gone are the days of stretching the cord into the next room to spend hours on the phone ‘in private’. Nowadays, teens do the majority of their social networking silently on their personal devices, connecting with several people at once throughout the entire day. Sounds exhausting. However it seems like it’s of the utmost importance to quickly respond to every ding - so for the first leg of my quest to understand teens, I decided to focus on their means of communication. More specifically, texting and Snapchat, as I already have an understanding of TikTok and Instagram. I sat down with my daughter to ask her about how she and her friends communicate.
Texting 101:
Right off the top, I was told that I’m doing it all wrong. My daughter classifies me as a “dry” texter because I use punctuation in the proper places and complete sentences. Breaking news - periods are aggressive and harsh, however exclamation marks when used in excess are fine!!!!! Go figure. She also pointed out that I age myself by never using acronyms other than “lol”. (I will provide a list of acronyms for you to peruse at the end of this blog).
I asked my daughter why she frequently elongates her words when she sends a text. She informed me that it makes the message more fun, and can make it seem friendlier or enthusiastic. However, it needs to be used in the right way (great more room for error). For example: “Thankssss” may be construed as sarcastic, whereas “Thank youuuuuu!!!” is sincere and extra appreciative.
I have no intention of changing my texting style, however I do feel a bit more equipped in deciphering messages from my kids. As an added bonus my concern for their grasp of the English language has been lifted. The spelling errors, grammatical errors, and lack of punctuation are mostly intentional.
Welcome to Snapchat:
Apparently sending disappearing photos of the side of your face with a caption that says "wyd" is a widely practiced and meaningful way to communicate. Who knew?
Needing to know more about this heavily used platform, I asked my teenage child to teach me the ways of Snapchat. Here's how that went.
Lesson 1: Snaps and Being Left “On Delivered”
The other day, not for the first time, I heard my daughter talking about a friend of hers who was upset because she had been left “on delivered” for an entire day.
I had to ask…
“On delivered” means that your snap has been sent but not opened or responded to. Not fully understanding the gravity of the situation, my daughter explained that it’s offensive because you can see that the recipient has been online, but hasn’t bothered to open your snap.
I’m beginning to understand…
She continued to explain that being left on delivered isn’t the worst scenario - because the individual can claim that they just hadn’t seen it yet, or they missed it somehow. Being left “on opened” is by far more insulting. (the recipient opens the snap but doesn’t respond). Noted.
In my opinion, that seems like a lot of pressure. If you receive a snap, it’s expected that you respond in a timely manner. If you don’t open it, you’re being rude. If you open it but don’t respond right away, that’s a thousand times worse. When I pointed this out, my daughter shrugged like it wasn’t really a big deal. She also showed me a little work around to buy some time if you don’t want to respond right away; if you do a “half swipe” pulling the message to the side but not lifting your finger, you can view the message without opening it. Which means the message is still “on delivered”. So you’re still on the clock to answer, but not right away.
Lesson 2: The Snap Map
If you haven’t already, you really need to check out the colourful, cartoonish map of your neighbourhood known as Snap Map. Turns out, Snapchat users can share their exact location with friends complete with a timestamp. Each user is represented by little Bitmojis that can be zoomed in on, showing their location and who they’re with (other Bitmojis standing next to them).
I was already aware of Snap Maps, and that you could share your location. What I wasn’t aware of, is just how accurate that location is, and how many people have it turned on.
My daughter patiently explained that this is “normal”, and everyone has their location on. She said that you can go in “ghost-mode” if you want to, but that it’s weird and makes it look like you’re hiding out.
"And you're okay with this?" I asked.
"Obviously.”
I guess that already makes me "weird" for having basic concerns about privacy. Moving on.
Lesson 3: Streaks
"This," my teen explained, pointing to a tiny flame emoji next to someone’s name, "is a streak."
It was explained that a streak is when you’ve snapped back and forth with someone every single day, for however many days. If you miss a day, the streak dies. This is a big deal - especially when that streak count gets high.
I noticed that of the 154 friends she has on Snapchat, she has streaks with over 60 of them. The longest of which is 421 days! Clearly these things are not reserved for close friends. I asked her if this was average, and she informed me that most people have way higher numbers in both friends and streaks, but that she doesn't use Snapchat as much as most people. I’ll let that sink in.
I’m out of my depth at this point. I admittedly fail to understand why a streak is important with people you hardly speak to.
Lesson 4: Filters
"These make your snaps fun," my daughter told me while swiping through filter after filter.
I’ll admit I enjoyed the filter that turned me into a talking head of broccoli. My daughter, however, quickly got bored over the 20 minutes I spent laughing hysterically at myself.
The Aftermath
After some intensive training, I think I’ve passed the test, and can successfully send a snap, and navigate Snap Maps. I’m still not sure why anyone needs to know where I am or what the point of sending random pictures of nothingness is, but hey, when in Rome.
Will I ever fully embrace the chaotic world of Snapchat? Probably not. But at least now, when my kids send me a blurry photo of their ceiling with the caption "wyd," I can respond with a broccoli-filtered selfie that says "smh." And really, isn’t that what parenting is all about?
Popular Acronyms
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