Same. But Different.
Same. But Different.
Welcome back! This will (probably) be my final post in my quest to bridge the generational gap and decode the mysterious ways of teenagers. If you watched my TED Talk, you know that my original mission "to see if my kids could make me cool again” didn’t exactly go as planned. Shocking, I know.
However, all was not lost! I learned quite a bit about teen lingo, acronyms, social media platforms, current trends, and the big topics at school. More importantly, I gained a deeper understanding of the issues our youth are facing, found new ways to connect, and realized that the generational gap isn’t as wide as it seems.
Knowledge Bits
Facts: Teenagers are fast. Their conversations are a blur of acronyms and emojis. Their technological skills, and ability to navigate new platforms is nothing short of amazing. They are more self aware than ever before, and know exactly what they do and do not like.
When I asked them about trends: Skinny jeans? Out. Side parts? Out. The 90s? Weirdly back in. Which is wild because I was there the first time around. It’s both comforting and unsettling to see them discover flannel shirts and baggy jeans like they’ve unearthed ancient treasure. As I took notes, I realized that every generation goes through this—trying to define themselves, rejecting what came before, and embracing what feels fresh and new.
But beyond trends, I wanted to know what really interests them. My daughters talked about TikTok videos, memes, and binge-worthy shows. They showed me videos that had them in stitches—and while I didn’t always get the humour, their joy was infectious.
What I found fascinating is how creative they are. They’re not just consuming media; they’re making it. They’re curating posts and instagram content, creating funny videos for TikTok or YouTube, and writing captions with the precision of a marketing team. Their creativity isn’t just for fun—it’s how they express themselves, build connections, and make sense of their world.
School Dynamics: Then vs. Now
Of course, I also asked about school. And this is where I started to see both the similarities and the differences between their experiences and mine.
Many of their concerns are similar to what we faced. Friendships, fitting in, figuring out who you are, trying to figure out what comes next—it’s the same story, just with a digital twist. What struck me as different is their awareness of big issues: mental health, racism, LGBTTQ+ rights. They speak about these topics with a fluency I don’t think I had at their age. These kids are engaged, informed, and navigating a world far more complex than the one we grew up in.
Are We Really That Different?
The big question I kept coming back to was this: Are we really all that different? At their core, teenagers want the same things we did — connection, belonging, and a sense of identity. Technology and the fast-paced world they live in might make their experiences look different, but the underlying values are the same.
They write their lives in Instagram captions; I wrote mine in a diary. They post selfies; I took photos and had to wait a week to develop the film. They obsess over viral TikToks; I memorized MTV music videos. They laugh at embarrassing videos and memes, I giggled at Cosmopolitan’s “Ask Anything” articles. They send Snaps, and I passed notes in class. The tools have changed, but the feelings behind them haven’t. They are, and were, ways to stay connected, express ourselves, and find a sense of belonging.
How I’ll Use This as a Teacher
So how does all this research help me as a teacher? First, it reminds me to meet my students where they are. If Snapchat is how they communicate, then maybe I need to understand it — not to use it, but to appreciate why it matters to them.
Finally, it’s about finding common ground. I don’t need to be “cool” or use their slang to connect with them (though I’ll probably still say “slay” in class just to make them laugh). What I need, is to show them that I care about what matters to them, and that I will take the time necessary to understand.
Final Thoughts
The pace of life has changed, and the tools are different, but the heart of it — the desire for connection, identity, and belonging — remains the same.
Ask questions. Listen without judgment. Laugh at yourself when you inevitably get it wrong. Because the generation gap isn’t as wide as it seems, and bridging it is as simple as a conversation. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll learn that “💀” doesn’t mean someone died.
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